This is Brock as we so often see him. I love this little boy with all my heart. He is passionate, and fun, and excited, and loves to play. He is in heaven in the outdoors. We try to hike as a family at least once a week and Brock can go miles before getting tired, provided he has a rock in each hand and a trail to follow. He is also stubborn, and loud, and easily frustrated, and often inconsolable. This is one of my greatest parenting challenges up to this point. I have never had a child that I could not console, that would be miserable for hours for no good reason. He is happy as a little lark wandering around the house playing with his cars and trains and with his brother and sister, but as soon as we attempt to add any structure to any event, he falls apart. You can only imagine the struggle this presents at church. Not only does he have to be quiet, but he is also confined, and then we take him to nursery where he is supposed to sit on a little chair or a little carpet and listen to this that or the other when there is a perfectly good slide right behind him. Brock literally starts to cry the moment we pull into the church parking lot, and if we are not armed with a barrage of fruit snacks, crackers, pretzels, drinks and other distractionary items, we are doomed. I do not remember the last time I left sacrament meeting when I was not sweating from the wrestling/chasing match Brock and I have just endured.
Another big frustration for both of us is that Brock is not really talking yet. I know that he knows what we are saying and he knows what he is saying, we just don't know what he is saying. However, he has found a way to get our attention in any situation and that is by letting out this high-pitched scream at roughly 280 decibels. It is working well for him because we are prompt to do what ever we can to stop that piercing noise!
With all the struggles, we did have a breakthrough this week which is what has inspired me to write. Brock sat on my lap and listened to a story for the first time. Yes, he is nineteen months old, and this is the first time this has ever occurred. He snuggled with me (that is a miracle in and of itself) in the rocking chair and pointed to the pictures and let me turn the pages and sat there until I was finished. I nearly cried when we were through. What is even better, is he has brought the same book to me a few times this week and we have done it again!(Yeah for "Who said Moo.) I have really longed for this kind of bonding with him and am so grateful that I can finally read my baby a story.
I would love to hear stories or ideas from all you fantastic moms out there about making it through with a difficult child. I am sure there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I just hope the tunnel is short. I hope and pray that this milestone is a change in the road. In the meantime, I keep reminding myself that being strong-willed and curious and energetic and passionate are really good traits in an adult, and I don't want to squash them as long as I can continue with some sanity...
7 comments:
Good post here Saltz.
Wesley has been difficult for me to raise and he still is, but not nearly as much as he used to be. He used to have a very hard time sitting still for stories or anything for that matter. When he was young - I started taking him to story time at the library. I recognized that I needed to do something to help him sit, listen and focus if I could. Just the thought of formal education, where one day he'd be expected to sit in a classroom and pay attention and do as instructed, made me nervous for him. LoL - Anyhow, here at story time in Lehi, they read, sing, dance, do puppet shows, etc all in a 45 minute window. Gradually, with time, his spans of attention stretched longer and longer until we sat through an entire story time block. Now as he's older, he still has trouble sometimes in church, but he is doing very well in his preschool and has come a long way really.
These little ones that have such a zest and passion for life I think require the most work, but the efforts are so worth it as I believe specifically their potential is nearly boundless. Hang in there and keep your bag of tricks wide open. I'm sure Jeff can relate to Brock and likely will have some ideas that will help as Brock gets older.
So glad to know your in the trenches with me Saltz! :o) Nice in a way that as mothers our greatest struggles can also become our greatest joys.
I love Brock. Or as Kit would say B Rock. I don't know why he loves to say that, but he does. Anyway, I wish I could give advice, but you are the one who should give ME the advice! I love your family, and I hope you know it. If ever you want to bring Brock over to "play" with the kiddos, let me know. He actually did really well here, after the initial crying that Mom left phase. You can bring Emily too because lets face it, Olivia will take a fit if she doesn't come. Seriously, call me.
What a sweet tender story you shared. I have no advice whatsoever...I can claim minimal wisdom in this arena as I'm learning how much I need to learn everyday, but I'm sure you are doing awesome with Brock!
I can relate. After having 3 girls, Carter is so different and was not interested in stories unless he could drive his car through the book. He will be 3 next month and is doing so much better. We just have to realize that each child is different and not try to treat them the same as their siblings. I am struggling with this too - thanks for your post, it helps to know that we all go through it.
Yay, I love when people post links to people that I know! Poor Brock, poor kid. I don't know who I feel worse for at church on sundays, you or him...usually you!
All I can say is that I know what you mean and that I have absolutely no advice. Let me know if you figure it out.
Gosh, Chels--
My kids are so quiet and perfect that I just don't relate at all. Wink, wink. :) I have a couple of spirited kids. It's hard and I still try to read and learn and try new ways to inspire them. Mostly they just make me tired. In fact, just thinking about them makes me need a nap. It's nice to know we moms aren't alone in the world. However, I do have one friend whose 3 boys rode in the van with two of my children and they spoke not a word. Not a single word. Silence. She says they are like this all of the time, quiet children. I am still amazed that these boys are for real! Best wishes on your parenting journey.
Lots of love--
Amie
Post a Comment