This is Brock as we so often see him. I love this little boy with all my heart. He is passionate, and fun, and excited, and loves to play. He is in heaven in the outdoors. We try to hike as a family at least once a week and Brock can go miles before getting tired, provided he has a rock in each hand and a trail to follow. He is also stubborn, and loud, and easily frustrated, and often inconsolable. This is one of my greatest parenting challenges up to this point. I have never had a child that I could not console, that would be miserable for hours for no good reason. He is happy as a little lark wandering around the house playing with his cars and trains and with his brother and sister, but as soon as we attempt to add any structure to any event, he falls apart. You can only imagine the struggle this presents at church. Not only does he have to be quiet, but he is also confined, and then we take him to nursery where he is supposed to sit on a little chair or a little carpet and listen to this that or the other when there is a perfectly good slide right behind him. Brock literally starts to cry the moment we pull into the church parking lot, and if we are not armed with a barrage of fruit snacks, crackers, pretzels, drinks and other distractionary items, we are doomed. I do not remember the last time I left sacrament meeting when I was not sweating from the wrestling/chasing match Brock and I have just endured.
Another big frustration for both of us is that Brock is not really talking yet. I know that he knows what we are saying and he knows what he is saying, we just don't know what he is saying. However, he has found a way to get our attention in any situation and that is by letting out this high-pitched scream at roughly 280 decibels. It is working well for him because we are prompt to do what ever we can to stop that piercing noise!
With all the struggles, we did have a breakthrough this week which is what has inspired me to write. Brock sat on my lap and listened to a story for the first time. Yes, he is nineteen months old, and this is the first time this has ever occurred. He snuggled with me (that is a miracle in and of itself) in the rocking chair and pointed to the pictures and let me turn the pages and sat there until I was finished. I nearly cried when we were through. What is even better, is he has brought the same book to me a few times this week and we have done it again!(Yeah for "Who said Moo.) I have really longed for this kind of bonding with him and am so grateful that I can finally read my baby a story.
I would love to hear stories or ideas from all you fantastic moms out there about making it through with a difficult child. I am sure there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I just hope the tunnel is short. I hope and pray that this milestone is a change in the road. In the meantime, I keep reminding myself that being strong-willed and curious and energetic and passionate are really good traits in an adult, and I don't want to squash them as long as I can continue with some sanity...
